Potty Training HELL

OK so YES; we have been attempting potty training for MONTHS...MONTHS!!!

It has been a bit difficult to have a schedule because of so much traveling we have done since this summer--block leave in august, back to back weddings out of town in September, and now Lee and I are both taking trips this month--but I thought we would at least get a 'hey mommy--need to tee tee'...no...THIS is what I have received.

Nicholas DOES tell us when he poops...in fact sometimes he takes off his diaper, tries to wipe himself with his hand and comes to us with doo-doo on his hands, and usually also down his leg where the diaper just dropped to the ground when he undid the tabs, AND down his chest because after wiping his bottom and seeing nastiness on his hand he tried to wipe it off on himself...this has not happened daily, but I quit counting after nearly vomiting over the third occurrence.

My son's next favorite thing is when  I see poop or smell it I say 'let's go sit on the potty and get a new diaper' and he laughs hysterically and runs down the hall into our bedroom and climbs on MY SIDE OF THE BED. On two occasions I have had to change the sheets because the poop was rubbed onto my side of the bed--if it was on Lee's I would have just left it ;)

On some days Nicholas will take his wet diaper off and bring me a fresh one; again when I go to diaper him with the diaper he has brought for me to do so, he runs to my side of the bed...he then climbs up and rubs his butt and 'area' everywhere...needless to say the sheets are now changed almost twice a week rather than once.

And you know how your pets will bring you dead rodents? Nicholas leaves me wet diapers I can't find. I was buying pull ups for a while...he would leave me a wet one by my bedside and put on another pull up himself and I would never know he changed himself until I stepped on the wet one getting into bed that night...lovely.

Some of the other things I have tried are comical.

My grandmother said let him pee in a jar--I tried; I even got him naked and held it up on his 'area' so he couldn't miss it...he was not interested.

I hold treats in front of him and sit him on his little frog potty and he just screams til I give him the candy...he will sit and eat the whole thing and not pee...so treats are not working.

A couple weeks back I bought him big boy underwear; 'cars' and 'Thomas'...thought if he wets them he will get it...no. At first he wouldn't wear them...then he wanted a different pair each 20 minutes because he would put them on and go pee somewhere in the house...I cleaned the carpet in his room, then--by my bed, his FAVORITE place--then off two shoes in MY CLOSET. The underwear have stayed in his drawer since.

Sometimes when he takes off the diaper I find pee on the carpet later...I just ordered kid friendly spot remover because of this issue...otherwise my house is about to be so chemically potent we all will suffocate from the regularly removed urine.

Today I bought a timer and set it for every half hour--when it dings he has to go try...still no improvement.

Lee got home and took him in the bathroom and he actually got Nicholas to go once...then we put Nicholas in the shower with Lee and he peed in there, too. Kind of gross and not in the toilet--but tomorrow I am going to continue the timer and try letting him pee outside...I heard this works with little boys.

I want him to start pre-school in January and the program I am looking at he HAS to be potty trained almost completely...please keep your fingers crossed!